Attachment is about the degree that one feels emotionally connected to others, and the predictable nature of that connection. When attachment is inconsistent or poor the predictable nature of the emotional connection is vague and ill-formed. This appreciably reduces trust and the calm expectation of support that human beings rely on to feel a part of a community or family. Additionally, it is not uncommon to find individuals that grow to adulthood in this dynamic learn to react with aggression and hostility, or by withdrawal and victimization of self. These constant features are frequently associated with the pathology label of Narcissistic.
When family members experience dysregulated interactions with each other, then the person to person attunement is non-existent, weak, or inconsistent. This promotes a fear based drive to gain control through negative means such as those that are easily recognizable in the function of narcissistic personalities. Attunement is related to empathy and the ability to understand what is going on socio-emotionally in the life of another. When attunement is not present, modeled well or employed consistently in a family then it is possible for that sensitivity to be reduced if not crushed completely. When one has low levels of empathy for others it increases the likelihood that an individual will fail in attempts to step into the rhythm of someone else’s dance and pick up the dance steps you need to successfully perform successfully. Learning to recognize and correctly predict the interactions (dance) of others would subsume that there is an existent consistency in behavioral and emotional environment.
Attunement and attachment are two areas of concern when dealing with family dynamics which will interfere with an individual’s relationships throughout life, if Attachment and attunement are sidelined and get little play, they can well generate a number of relational markers that can be found to be Narcissistic in nature.
As children grow to maturity in an environment that that interferes with or disrupts normal emotional, social, psychological growth it is not uncommon to witness reactivity to this environment that can act as a conduit through which some the behavior patterns and perhaps the personality of the child becomes filled with relationship stressing behaviors. Generally when discussing relationship destructive behaviors two equal yet different patterns emerge. The first is the inhibited symptoms of narcissism and the other could be considered unrestrained symptoms of narcissism.
