Pedestals and Bluffs, Unnecessary Parenting Risks

Resilience: Just what is needed?
August 12, 2019
Stop Leaning, Start Rowing
August 26, 2019
Show all

Pedestals and Bluffs, Unnecessary Parenting Risks

Photo by Roderick Logan

Pedestals and Bluffs, Unnecessary Parenting Risks

Parenting in general is a practice of humility.

The family benefits most when the parent or parents remember the message does not originate with them, but emanates from an elevated source. If parents believe it is up to them to devise and develop a curriculum for living life as a human being, that is a weight too heavy for any parent to carry. That would be like every parent having to reinvent the human wheel.

This is one of those consequences of growing up and living isolated from community. Community is not only the people who now surround us, they are all the people who have preceded us; and as we connect with those from the past we benefit from their wins and losses. Now that is sustainable wisdom.

Parents should avoid arrogance when dispensing their acquired wisdom. The pedestal of “all knowing” is a high place from which to fall.

Ascending may be more arduous, but it is far more rewarding than descending.

This is not about avoiding or excusing our mistakes, for we all make mistakes. This is about feeling the need to copyright our wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. Let’s be honest. You and I are not the authors. Too many parents parent by making it up as they go. In gambling it’s called a bluff and these bluffs are really high pedestals and the risks of falling is totally unnecessary.

The more advisable option is to recognize the blessing these “teaching” opportunities afford us to introduce and lead our children to knowledge. It’s not only a venture for the child, it becomes a joint venture for the family. Instead of representing ourselves as the source, let’s go on a hunt for the hidden treasure.

A Lesson Taught or A Lesson Discovered

Which do you think lasts longer, a lesson taught or a lesson discovered? What has been true in your life? Why do you think the wisdom is buried in the first place? Perhaps discovery is the real value of the treasure.

As a wise Sage once said, “Words that come from the heart enter the heart (the Rebbe).”

What is your message to your child?

As parents, we must mean what we say and our children will only see our sincerity when you and I are the living example of the principles and values we teach. Children do not have the maturity nor the capacity to distinguish between an idea (abstract thought) and behavior (concrete action). Each time we show them that our behavior contradicts our teaching, we undermine our integrity, compromise the child’s trust, and warp their education. In effect, we communicate, “Do as I say and not as I do.” Is that your message?

If not, what is your message to your child? For now forget your words. How are you behaving, emoting, and thinking? That is the message your child or children hears – loud and clear.

(After reading this you might want to look up the lyrics to “Cats in the Cradle” and let the music remind you of the connection between silver spoons, little boys named Blue, and the man in the moon.)


Roderick Logan, DPTh, CCTS, CFTP, FFTT

Senior Faculty at Arizona Trauma Institute and Trauma Institute International

Blog host of Trauma Informed Parenting

Trauma & Recovery Specialist Making Space to Heal

Dr. Logan has more than 30 years experience as a trainer and facilitator. He holds a Master’s in Biblical Counseling and a Doctorate in Practical Theology.  His trauma certifications CFTP and CCTSF are with TII and IATP.  He is prolific at presenting transformative care principles and life skills for paraprofessionals, non-clinical caregivers and industry leaders desiring to change within their culture.  Roderick is proud to be part of a community of healers seeking to prevent toxic stress, raise awareness of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and support trauma recovery and resiliency building.  As a trauma specialist, he works routinely with foster and adoptive parents, grieving families dealing with loss, and caregivers seeking to become trauma informed.

Leave a Reply

Logged in as Mollie GardnerLog out?

Change Isn’t Enough, I Must Mature

July 31, 2019

Roderick Logan, DPTh, CCTS, CFTP, FFTT

Senior Faculty at Arizona Trauma Institute and Trauma Institute International

Blog host of Trauma Informed Parenting

Trauma & Recovery Specialist Making Space to Heal

Dr. Logan has more than 30 years experience as a trainer and facilitator. He holds a Master’s in Biblical Counseling and a Doctorate in Practical Theology.  His trauma certifications CFTP and CCTSF are with TII and IATP.  He is prolific at presenting transformative care principles and life skills for paraprofessionals, non-clinical caregivers and industry leaders desiring to change within their culture.  Roderick is proud to be part of a community of healers seeking to prevent toxic stress, raise awareness of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and support trauma recovery and resiliency building.  As a trauma specialist, he works routinely with foster and adoptive parents, grieving families dealing with loss, and caregivers seeking to become trauma informed.

Leave a Reply

Logged in as Mollie GardnerLog out?

Change Isn’t Enough, I Must Mature

July 31, 2019

ShareThis Copy and Paste

Roderick Logan, DPTh, CCTS, CFTP, FFTT Senior Faculty at Arizona Trauma Institute and Trauma Institute International Blog host of Trauma Informed Parenting Trauma & Recovery Specialist Making Space to Heal Dr. Logan has more than 30 years experience as a trainer and facilitator. He holds a Master’s in Biblical Counseling and a Doctorate in Practical Theology.  His trauma certifications CFTP and CCTSF are with TII and IATP.  He is prolific at presenting transformative care principles and life skills for paraprofessionals, non-clinical caregivers and industry leaders desiring to change within their culture.  Roderick is proud to be part of a community of healers seeking to prevent toxic stress, raise awareness of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and support trauma recovery and resiliency building.  As a trauma specialist, he works routinely with foster and adoptive parents, grieving families dealing with loss, and caregivers seeking to become trauma informed. Mollie Gardner Related posts July 31, 2019 Change Isn’t Enough, I Must Mature Read more Leave a Reply Logged in as Mollie Gardner. Log out? Comment Arizona Trauma Institute 49 South Sycamore Street, Suite 2 Mesa, Arizona 85202 Office: (480) 442-1840 Email: aztinfo@aztrauma.org Services Community Training Organizational Training and Implementation Support Promotion of Social Justice Refund / Cancellation Policy Policies Training Training Descriptions Calendar of Events List of Events Online Classes Request Training Join Our Newsletter * indicates required Email Address * First Name Last Name © 2017 Arizona Trauma Institute. All Rights Reserved. Site Powered & Design by ProExquisite Skip to toolbar About WordPress Arizona Trauma Institute Customize 22 Plugin Updates 00 Comments in moderation New Edit Post SEOSEO score: Good BroadcastLiveVideo Copy to a new draft UnderConstruction ● Search Howdy, Mollie Gardner Log Out Change Isn’t Enough, I Must Mature July 31, 2019 Roderick Logan, DPTh, CCTS, CFTP, FFTT Senior Faculty at Arizona Trauma Institute and Trauma Institute International Blog host of Trauma Informed Parenting Trauma & Recovery Specialist Making Space to Heal Dr. Logan has more than 30 years experience as a trainer and facilitator. He holds a Master’s in Biblical Counseling and a Doctorate in Practical Theology.  His trauma certifications CFTP and CCTSF are with TII and IATP.  He is prolific at presenting transformative care principles and life skills for paraprofessionals, non-clinical caregivers and industry leaders desiring to change within their culture.  Roderick is proud to be part of a community of healers seeking to prevent toxic stress, raise awareness of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and support trauma recovery and resiliency building.  As a trauma specialist, he works routinely with foster and adoptive parents, grieving families dealing with loss, and caregivers seeking to become trauma informed. Mollie Gardner Related posts July 31, 2019 Change Isn’t Enough, I Must Mature Read more Leave a Reply Logged in as Mollie Gardner. Log out? Comment Arizona Trauma Institute 49 South Sycamore Street, Suite 2 Mesa, Arizona 85202 Office: (480) 442-1840 Email: aztinfo@aztrauma.org Services Community Training Organizational Training and Implementation Support Promotion of Social Justice Refund / Cancellation Policy Policies Training Training Descriptions Calendar of Events List of Events Online Classes Request Training Join Our Newsletter * indicates required Email Address * First Name Last Name © 2017 Arizona Trauma Institute. All Rights Reserved. Site Powered & Design by ProExquisite Skip to toolbar About WordPress Arizona Trauma Institute Customize 22 Plugin Updates 00 Comments in moderation New Edit Post SEOSEO score: Good BroadcastLiveVideo Copy to a new draft UnderConstruction ● Search Howdy, Mollie Gardner Log Out Change Isn’t Enough, I Must Mature July 31, 2019ShareThis Copy and Paste

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *